Assault: The price is negotiable, the message is not
Assault was started roughly six months ago when Craig Kaplowitz and Tim Toomey decided they had been working for The
Man just too damn long and it was time to be their own bosses. The only way they knew how to do it was to take randomly
funny semi-offensive slogans and to slap them onto the cheapest shirts that vietnamese labor can buy.
Just kidding. Actually, all of our shirts are made in the good old US of A by a great company called American Apparel. I'm sure you've heard of them.
All of the ideas and designs on our shirts are completely and entirely our own. The original website design/programming work was all done by me with a bit of help from an OSCommerce PHP/MySQL system for the Shopping Cart, and Wordpress for the blog. The initial 12 designs were done by Tim Toomey and Candice Ciesla of Candice Ciesla.com You can find out alot more about our artists and company by visiting the Official AssaultBLOG.
Currently, I (Tim) live in Chicago (getting nose picked) and I am responsible for the artsy fartsy side of the company, while Craig (nose picker) is responsible for getting the business side of things functioning and organized, whilst provoking the creative mind so we can come up with more t-shirts. You may also notice that I have strategically cropped everyone else out of our photos. If you'd like to see the rest of our ridiculous photos you'll have to add us as your friend on MySpace. Trust me, it took me about 4 hours to find some pictures where we looked somewhat normal. That being said Craig is currently residing in Dallas, Texas despite spending his entire life in the Midwest. Sorry ladies, but Craig is currently engaged to be married to Saw-Shan. I'm not sure if this is set in stone as of yet, but I am ordained as a minister and I do believe I am scheduled to marry the two of them. I will do so in the Skull Wing Assault T-Shirt with my fingernails painted black.
I went to school at the Savannah College of Art and Design where I received a BFA in Film And Television, Craig went to Northwood in Texas and studied business. Not exactly sure as to the specifics of what he did, but I bet he did a real good job. Just look at how cute he is. The blog has a fairly detailed history of how this entire business came to life all the way from us getting our assumed name certicate and bank account out here in Cook County Chicago, IL. It's a much better dear-diary approach for how this site came to be and what is currently going on with us in our daily lives.
In the meantime, if you think you're worthy email us some t-shirt designs, or pictures of
yourself wearing our stuff. We'll post them on the site
"lickety split" as Craig likes to say. Plus we'll send you a 15% off code if we use your picture on the products page, and $500+ dollar check if we use your shirt idea.
