Now for all the nasty legal stuff. No one reads this stuff, but I have to put it in anyway. It is a sad state of affairs, but I had to come up with this because of the small group of "bad apples." Please Enjoy! 

Please do not e-mail me with the following questions.
I will not respond, as they are answered below:

Will you ship to (anywhere outside the contiguous 48 United States)?
No. I ship only to the Continental USA; NO HAWAII & NO ALASKA!  If you try to slip "under the wire" and win , pay for it, and are NOT in the USA, your payment will be refunded minus $5.00 for auction fee loses. 

NOTE TO THE REST OF THE WORLD: Stop asking me to ship to you. You obviously can read English, yet you continue to ignore the fact that I do not ship internationally. The ONLY negative feedbacks I have ever received have been from other countries because the shipping is so incredibly slow. It's just not worth it to me.  

When was my item shipped? When will my item ship? Has my item shipped yet?
Please do not ask unless it has been 7 or more days since you paid for your item and you have not yet received it. If you pay for an item on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, your item will be shipped Monday. Any other day, your item is usually shipped within hours of your payment. ALL items have a confirmation number and are automatically email to you.

Can you give me a tracking number for my item?
See question #2.

Do you have a buy it now for this item? Will you end the auction early?
No and no. If there is a buy it now, it will say it in the listing.

What is the reserve price for this item?
If there is one and is not indicated in the description, I will not reveal it.

Can I pick this item up instead of having it shipped? 

No. I was attacked at my door by a deranged ebayer. Never again. NO EXCEPTIONS!

What is your return policy?

All sales are final and all items are sold "as is." This is not a Walmart and I do not keep items "in stock." I described all items as best I can. If you think the item is not described to your liking, DO NOT BID! There are no returns, exchanges, or credits. Items are described as best as humanly possible.

Can I have a discount on shipping?

Due to the overwhelming number of people asking for combined shipping and asking for unrealistic discounts, there will be NO combined shipping. Please don't ask. If you do, you will be automatically barred from all my auction items. Boxes, new padded envelopes, tape, printer paper, ink cartridges, gas, and time cost money. Try to remember that when  you complain about my shipping costs. If you like, I could just put a stamp on your item and ship it. Think before you complain.

Note: Tis the season for the annual USPS price gouge. My shipping costs are a reflection of the Post Offices' holiday price increase. And due to this and complaints of the impending slowdown, ALL shipping is going priority mail, (unless otherwise stated). This will insure you get you item as prompt as possible.

How long do I have to pay for the item?

3 days. Due to the overwhelming amount of people who do not pay for items, you now have only 3 days to pay. If you cannot pay within that time frame, contact me. If not, I send it to ebay. This is your ONE and ONLY warning.

I want to complain after the auction is over and before I receive the item; what now?

You will not get your item until you leave a positive feedback with all 5 stars. You cannot be trusted and this is the only way I have of reassurance. My auction; my rules.  Also, don't ask me to ship from a different service or "upgrade" shipping for free after the auction has ended.

I have read the description in full and have viewed the hi-res pics, yet, I'm still too stupid and must ask a question that has been answered. What then?

You will be blocked from all my auctions. Now go and do the world a favor by killing yourself.  

Pay Pal won't let me pay for the item; can I send you a different form of payment? 

You're an idiot. If you set up a paypal account and cannot use it, you should not be on ebay in the first place.

I need your address so I can send you a m.o..

 I told you that nobody reads this stuff!  

These questions represent about 90-95% of the questions we receive via email and I simply do not have the time to answer them repeatedly, so we have answered them here for your convenience and mind. I will make every effort to answer all other questions as quickly and accurately as possible.

NOTE: I am going green! You will no longer get a paper invoice with your purchase. It will all go through ebay and email. Let's save trees! If you are happy with your purchase, let me know with a positive feedback. I will return with the same.