The Double Dragonfly will rise again, like the phoenix from the ashes.

What's done is done. I lost my home and business (which, if you bought from me in past, you know they were one and the same). Now I'm seeing there's no good reason to dwell on the past or worry about the future. I'm living one day to the next and doing everything I can to live each day fully, without resentment for the past, without blaming others or myself, without worrying what others may think of me or say about me.

By treating each day as though it might be my last, I'm learning to make the most of what I have and remembering what it feels like to be myself and be happy with who I am.

By letting go of resentment for what was lost and apprehension about what tomorrow may bring, I am able to devote more energy to every day. Because every dollar counts, when I shop for food I spend more time considering what I'm putting into my body and look for whatever healthy bargains I can find. Lots of brown rice, black beans and cereal with soy milk these days! So when I have more money to spend, I'm not likely to change my buying habits. This is an improvement on many levels!

I will cease advising others about getting involved in situations that were not so good for me, because the same situations will undoubtedly be different for every other person. Therefore, the outcome will also be different. I was a willing participant in my past. Whether of not I was fully aware of what I was doing or what I was getting into, whether I went with reluctance or not, I agreed to go where I went and do what I did. If I believed lies, it is because I chose to believe them. I chose to lie to myself. Today I choose the truth. Today I am not a victim.

By leaving situations that were not good for me and leaving a place where I was no longer welcome, I have done myself a tremendous favor. It is exhausting to be someone other than yourself in order to remain in a place where the actual *you* is not wanted. You forget how to hold up your head, how to smile or even why to smile...and still you remain, because you no longer feel you have anything to give to the world. Because you love the place and believe you can endure anything to be there. This is the lie I once told myself and never will again.

When people treat you badly, it has everything to do with them. Don't take it personally and you'll find the strength to move forward.

I can't say it's easy letting go of the past. I can't say it's easy not to worry that I won't be able to make the rent next week. I will say that I am making a concerted effort to focus on today and do my best. I'm remembering how to love and respect myself again. And I'm treating others with love and respect and working very hard to expect nothing in return.

This costs me nothing, but the rewards are already evident. Strangers befriend me and invite me to share dinner with them and there are no hidden agendas. Being a better friend to myself, I can more easily recognize who my friends are. I spend my time more productively because I'm immersing myself in what is *now*.

This is a time of struggle on many levels, for many of us. I know I'm not alone in this. What I can say is that the struggle is worthwhile and there is great beauty and joy to be experienced every day when our attention is focused in the moment. Today two complete strangers gave me gifts! One was the gift of a heartfelt conversation and the vision of a bus with the lyrics of a powerful song written by Woody Guthrie (I was so moved, I decided to take photographs and then met the man who'd created the mobile masterpiece). The other was an actual gift of beautiful blown glass artwork given to me by a person who I'd noticed in the Safeway (and who'd noticed me back). I saw him again on the way back out to my car and remarked at the beautiful necklace he wore. I recognized the work as that of a Native American...and there was an amazing story behind the necklace, one that I never would have heard had I not had the eyes to see, the courage to stop and speak and sense to seize the moment. He had looked at me because he saw the Native American in me. I had looked at him because he seemed so much more *alive* than the people around him. We spoke for quite awhile. And we exchanged hugs!

So please, if you read what I wrote previously in the description of "Me", know that I'm now more active than reactive. Some change takes awhile in coming and then appears very rapid. It's been coming on for awhile, though. Often we struggle hardest when we are doing what is correct for ourselves. Then when we achieve our goals, we are much stronger and wiser and happier beings. 

And for today and all the todays that follow, I'm wishing you peace and love. And don't forget to treat yourself and others with kindness and assume nothing about the outcome. And everything will work out just fine for all of us. :-)