Before I met the missionaries everything in my life was going according to plan. I was getting exactly what I expected. I was, of course, completely miserable. As far as I knew that was the best I could expect out of life. The only happiness was rare and fleeting. It came only from sinning. I honestly knew no other way.
I never met my father. He left shortly after I was born. He served as a medic in Vietnam. The war had been too much for him. My mother said he was not the same man when he finally returned home. He left us and later remarried. To this day I have not met the man, that i remember. After joining the church, I started working on my family history. It was at that time I realized I needed to forgive my father. Yet another blessing this church has given me.
When it comes to religion in my family there was none. My mother did not enjoy church when she was a child and swore she would never suffer her children to join a religion. Religion was something “those” people did. Stay away from them, they might get their hooks in you!
I have led quite a “colorful” life. We grew up very poor in a drug and crime infested area of south-east San Diego. It was not long before I was involved with the wrong crowd. Drugs and crime were a daily part of my life. I have hurt many people over the years. The least of which being my own family.
After many failed attempts i finally managed to kick the hard drugs and get a job. after a few years i started selling car part online. no matter how well i did i was still the same miserable guy inside.
Even though i had given up the drugs and crime i still drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes. i also had a "prescription" for legal use of marijuana. my life was filled with loneliness, anger, resentment, hatred, you name it. Things went on this way for almost a decade.
One day i was out walking my dog. I was crossing the street and just about to set foot on the sidewalk when there came two young well dressed men running up behind me. (Later I found out if I had set foot on the sidewalk I would have been out of their area, hence the rush.) White shirts, black ties, and name badges. Oh no! the Mormons! Mentally I prepared a quick “thank you, no time have to go”.
There we were in the middle of the street talking. I was a little surprised when they introduced themselves as elders. They were young enough to be my children. I wish I could recall our exact conversation, but I can not. I can only describe the way I felt. I felt that I had been living in darkness and had just seen some bright flashes of light off in the distance. Something they said had struck me.
They asked if they could come back later in the week. I agreed, and that’s how I started taking their lessons.They taught me things I had never heard anywhere else before. “Adam fell that man might be, men are that they might have joy” what? Joy? Me? That’s not right. Is it? Everything they said made sense. I knew it was true. I tried everything they suggested. One by one. The results were always exactly as they predicted. Amazing. You mean to tell me there is a plan of life that I never knew of? If I follow it I will be happy and joyful? No one ever told me that before.
I gave up the alcohol, drugs, and coffee right away. The tobacco took a little longer. They taught me how I am now making covenants with God. How each one comes with a blessing. It made sense and I knew it was right but it was against all society had taught me. Give up drugs, alcohol, coffee, tobacco, foul language, casual sex, and lustful thoughts and I will be happier?! Impossible! If I had to give all that up I would be completely stressed out. My head would explode! There’s no way! You’re handcuffing me, you’re constricting me with all these rules! I want to be free!!
The young elder looked at me and calmly said “Tan, I know it seems that way to you now, but try this and you will see we’re right. You’ve done really well so far. Don’t stop now.” So I did it. I did everything they asked me to. As time went by I was surprised how much calmer and more peaceful I was becoming. This was the exact opposite of what I was expecting. I was filled with joy. My heart was being softened. I was no longer that miserable, hate filled, spiteful person.
The missionaries, through the power of the Holy Ghost, had touched my heart and changed my being.So I started going to church. That’s when they taught me about tithing. Oh boy, here we go! Give 10% to the church? I hardly make enough to pay my bills as it is. Once again, I did as I was told. I was a full tithe payer before I was even baptized. Paying that tithe every week has truly changed my life. I think nothing else has strengthened my testimony as much as tithing. I am amazed at how such a simple thing has enriched my life. If anyone doubts, just try it. That’s all you have to do is put it to the test and you will see. They should put it on the stock market as the LDS500!
I can not say that my conversion happened at any one specific time. I did not hear the Lord telling me I was doing the right thing in joining the church. There was no thunder and lightning. It was a simple, natural progression from darkness and misery to light and truth. God bless those missionaries, I will never forget them. to this day i take the missionaries out to lunch on P-day.
one of the biggest changes i see in my life so far is my smile. i see it in the mirror everyday. it used to be sort of an akward painful grimace. now i actualy see teeth!
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